He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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