My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
