just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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