lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
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