I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
