you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
