who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
did i walk over a car last night?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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