hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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