New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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