I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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