i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
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