So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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