I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
