My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
