There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
