Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
