I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Semen is not good for contacts.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
