Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
