Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
