you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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