his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
this hospital has no fireball
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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