Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Ladies don't puke and tell
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
