I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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