go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
