are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Randomize