I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
