I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
