"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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