did you get engaged???
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
