i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
