he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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