i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
