Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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