I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize