ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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