He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize