My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
