so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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