This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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