Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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