I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
