just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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