is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
