I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
