when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize