This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
