Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
