I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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