she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
