apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
