Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
