True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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