Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
