You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
